Hogwarts Madness
by musicalbballgal
Summary: Post HBP, Post War, sort of an AU, DracoHermione. After the war there are lots of new friendships but some people never change. or do they? Lot's of pranks! never written a summary b4 so i know it sucks
1. Prologue

A/N: Alright this is definitely a Draco/Hermione fanfic. It's Post HBP, Post war, sort of an AU. Characters are as in character as they can be considering what happened in the war (it's all explained in the first chapter) Yes, the first chapter is really short but it's just background info. The rest will be longer.

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It's nearly the end of summer in between their 6th and 7th years of Hogwarts. Who is this "they" you ask? We'll get to that all in good time. Right as summer began and Harry Potter left the "safety" of Hogwarts, Voldemort attacked. The war was terrible. No one knew who to trust anymore. Somehow the Order kept getting leads about Voldemort's plans but no one could tell who they were coming from. Then one day their source revealed them self. Or actually themselves. Apparently Voldemort had found out about their spy work, and sent other Death Eaters to kill them. So they went to the safest place they knew of. The Black house.

They managed to persuade the Order that it was indeed them who had been giving them the leads and the Order welcomed them in. These former death eaters are Draco Malfoy, Blaise Zabini (A/N: who is a GUY, not a girl! Sorry about the interruption), and Pansy Parkinson.

Sometime during the final battle, Blaise and Draco protected Harry and Ron while they were being healed. Hermione, Ginny, Pansy, and Luna ended up fighting as a team. Therefore, saving each other's lives quite a few times. Sometime later on, Luna had to drag Blaise to the healing tent before his injuries killed him, and Hermione, Ginny, and Draco were left to fight together. Let's just say that since they were 3 extremely powerful witches (and wizard); they kicked some ass, AND managed to argue the whole while.

Harry killed Voldemort completely and by then, all of the Death Eaters had been sent to Azkaban, which is now guarded by dragons. During the battle some friendships were definitely formed.

Now I sure hope you guys have figured out whom that "they" is. Oops! Did you forget what I'm even talking about? (A/N: I did!) Well you'll find out next chapter!

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A/N: Good? Bad? Plz review! This is my first fanfic and it would just MAKE MY DAY to get even one review! And I love constructive criticism! Should I get a beta or was it ok? 


	2. Heads

A/N: Thank you Kat, wolfgrl1423 (dunno if u want ur name on the internet or not… lol) Jocy, and evilrabidplotbunnies! Thank you all so much for the great reviews! Well on to the story!

P.S. '_this means thoughts'_ k? k

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It's nearly the end of summer between their 6th and 7th years of Hogwarts. "They" are the famous 8 who saved the wizarding world. But they are not all friends. In fact, some would be very happy if others would just disappear.

The students in the Black House were just receiving their Hogwarts letters when-

"OH MY GOSH!

OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH! I'm head girl!" shrieked Hermione while running to the kitchen.

This of course woke up Mrs. Black's portrait and she started yelling, "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON! WHO WOULD MAKE A MUDBLOOD HEADG-"

"Ginnyyyyyyyyy!"

"That's it! I'm sick of this! Will someone shut her up!" screamed Mrs. Black.

"As everyone is congratulating her, there's still one person who's still reading their letter. Draco had heard her screaming of course but didn't run to congratulate her like everyone else. In fact he was pissed off that she was head girl. Normally he'd be happy that she would be even busier and would be even farther away from him. That is, if he hadn't just found out that he was Head Boy.

'_Hmmm… the old lady's made me Head Boy… I guess I can just annoy Granger even more now.'_ Draco thought with a smirk

"Uh oh."

"You're smirking"

"Should we go-"

"Warn Hermy"

"That you're up to something?"

Draco looked up and saw the Weasly twins standing in his doorway. "Oh no, don't worry I was just about to tell her myself actually, but now that I think of it I can use your help."

"You-"

"What?"

Draco grinned, a plan forming in his head already. "Well you two are willing to help a friend in need of some good pranks right?"

"Well, we might not want to help you because we tend to like being on good terms with our lovely bookworm-"

"And wouldn't want to risk that by helping a ferret…" They both grinned when they saw Draco's grimace at the name.

"What if I gave you some funding, an idea for a new product, and pictures of the results of your help?" asked Draco.

"We'll do you a favor-"

"And help you for-"

"Just the pictures"

"And your brilliant idea"

"Now what do you need?"

Draco smirked evilly.

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Later, in the kitchen, Harry, Ron, Ginny and Hermione were starting to get ready for lunch.

"Hermione! I just remembered that the Head girl shares a common room with the Head boy!" exclaimed Ginny while putting out the plates.

"I do! Oh wow, I wonder who the Head boy is then… Say Harry and Ron, you guys said you were just prefects right?"

"Ye-"

"Of course they are!" interrupted Ginny. "They get in to much trouble to be head boy. Ooh! What if it's that hot Raven claw? I'm sure you two would have some fun at night." She wiggled her eyebrow.

Sensing a bad reaction from Hermione, Harry and Ron ran out of the room.

"No we wouldn't!" exclaimed Hermione. "I am not that type of girl Ginny! I would expect you of all people to understand that!"

"Calm down Hermione! Breathe… I was just joking. We all know you probably wouldn't even kiss a guy…" said Ginny while backing away.

Even a stranger would be able to see Hermione was getting very angry and was about to snap.

'_Better interrupt before she breaks something_,' thought Draco from the doorway. "Besides it's not even like a guy would want to kiss her, especially not me so you better get those ideas out of your head Weasley."

"Why do you think anyone would want to kiss you? And what ideas?" asked Ginny.

"Well," said Draco with a smirk, "you thought that Granger would be getting it off with the Head boy and since I'm the Head boy, I don't think that will be happening anytime soon. Actually never."

"Wow, I must be tired today because I almost thought that you said you were Head boy," said Hermione.

"I did say I am Head boy," said Draco with yet another smirk, "and since we're living together, I get to make everyday of your life a living hell."

"Don't worry Hermione," said Ginny "I'm sure he's lying just to get a rise out of you." She turned to Malfoy. "If you are Head boy then where is your badge?"

"You shouldn't need the badge to believe me, I never lie," said Malfoy with an innocent look.

"No," said Hermione, "you just don't always tell the truth, now where is your badge Malferret?"

Malfoy grinned, "Right behind you."

Hermione and Ginny turned around in time to see a big flashing gold thing. Before they could react, it had enveloped them, trapping their body completely but leaving their heads free. So here they were in the kitchen, squashed together and trapped by some gold thing, with Malfoy taking pictures.

Hermione knew it was hopeless right away since they didn't have their wands but she didn't know what was around them.

"So Granger, do you believe me now?" Draco asked.

"You still haven't showed me your badge…" Hermione said. '_What an idiot…'_

Draco smirked, "Really, you can fight Death Eaters but you can't protect yourself from a little badge…"

"Little? Oh yes, this is absolutely miniscule! What was McGonagall thinking?"

"Or was she even thinking? I was wondering that too, but then I realized that I can use this to my advantage," said Draco with yet another smirk, "I get to torture you even more now. I was only going to go after you with this but Weaselette was an added bonus."

Hermione had actually forgotten about Ginny in her anger. She turned her head, the only thing she can more, to look at her since she'd been really quiet. She saw Ginny was very red in the face and wasn't breathing.

"HOLY COW! (It's Hermione, she can't swear!) Malfoy you better undo this right now! She can't breathe!" she screamed while pushing against the badge, trying to give Ginny more room.

'_O shit'_ thought Draco '_it's not supposed to suffocate them. I guess that's why it's not on the market yet.'_

He tapped a button on the side of the badge with his wand and suddenly it let the 2 girls go while shrinking back to its normal size. They were taken by surprise and Ginny immediately sank to the floor. Hermione, however, stumbled and fell in the direction of Draco. Instead of catching her, he just moved out of her way.

'_Evil git..._' thought Hermione '_he says he has perfect manners and yet here he is, laughing at me for falling. I'll show him!_' and with that thought, she swung her legs at the back of his knees, causing him to fall. '_Ooh! It worked!_' but then he hit the table and fell on top of Hermione. '_Or not…_' she was thinking until she felt a hand on her chest.

"WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING MALFOY!"

"I'm trying to get up. I didn't mean to touch you there, believe me, no guy would want to even touch you," Draco said. "Besides, we wouldn't be here if you hadn't kicked me!" He tried to get up again, but found the table had fallen on top of them.

"We wouldn't be here if you hadn't charmed your badge to attack me and Ginny!" she started squirming, trying to get out from under him but he was too heavy.

"Actually that's where you're wrong," he grinned mysteriously, "I didn't charm my badge."

"If you didn't then who did?" questioned Hermione sarcastically.

"That's for me to know, and you not to find out," Draco said mysteriously.

Hermione was about to retort when she saw the table, that was over them, being moved.

"Honestly, first you guys are too busy arguing to notice I'm suffocating, then you guys are arguing even more and don't realize that I've collapsed, then you can't even get yourself out from under a table and I have to help you," said Ginny, while pulling Hermione off the ground. "And in case you two didn't notice, you were in a very naughty position…"

"Ginny…." "Weaselette…"

"Just speaking the truth!" said Ginny with an innocent look.

"Well my work here is done. Hopefully I won't see you later," said Draco while heading to the door.

"Oh you might not see us in person, but I can assure you that you'll see me sometime later, Malferret," said Hermione (in they type of voice that makes you think they know something you don't) before he'd completely walked out the door.

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A/N: PLEASE REVIEW! I luv constructive criticism! And a wonderful reviewer has told me I don't need a beta but if that changes (or you guys realize I have horrible grammar) please let me know!

If anyone likes Inuyasha stories then I highly suggest wolfgrl1423 's WONDERFUL stories! Check them out!

Reba


	3. Looks Aren't Everything

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, ESPESCIALLY not any memories that happened in the books… I do however own my plot and my dog. That's it.

'_Italics in one quote thing'_ thoughts

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Looks Aren't Everything

Dinner went off smoothly. As usual Hermione and Ginny would eat quickly and leave the room before Malfoy came. (He would come late to avoid them).

Draco wasn't nervous about what she was planning because he thought she was too brainy to have enough humor in her to make a prank. Little did he know that years of spending holidays at the Weaslys would change even a bookworm's way of thinking.

As Draco started heading upstairs, he heard Hermione yelling at Ron for disturbing her reading. Draco figured she couldn't have had time to plan a prank yet so he headed up to his room to write a letter to Dumbledore. He wanted to find out if he really did share living quarters with Granger.

He opened his door and headed over to his desk.

'_What the hell? Why can't I get to my desk? There's like a brick wall here…Wait a second! This is probably a trap!' _so Draco turned around to leave before something happened to him but as soon as he turned around, he was back at Hogwarts. Right in front of him he saw Granger, Harry, and Ron but they looked a lot younger. Then Granger started walking towards Draco.

"Hey Granger, do you kn--"

BAM!

"Owwwww…." Said Draco. "Why'd you punch…" Draco trailed off when he heard Harry and Ron's cheers, "me…"

'_This is just like in 3rd year.'_ Then it dawned on him that he was reliving the past. _'OMG, how do I get out of here?'_

Suddenly the Golden Trio was gone and he was on the Quidditch field.

'_OK, this is aright, I'm on the ground and I don't think any crazy bookworms punched me here and I don't remember getting hit by any bludgers while I was just standing here…'_

But then Draco realized he wasn't just standing there by himself. He had a huge black cloak on with the hood up and Crabbe and Goyle were with him.

'_What the hell is going on?'_

He heard a familiar voice scream something from above him. He looked up just in time to see a silvery mist coming towards him and all of the sudden he was stuck under Crabbe and Goyle and unable too move. A few minutes later he felt someone moving his cloak and saw McGonagall looking down at him. He could hear the other houses laughing and cheering while he could feel his house glaring at him. Then he realized where he was. He had just dressed up as a dementor to scare Harry and Harry cast a patronus at him. Now the whole school either hated him, or was laughing at him. Great…

He closed his eyes, trying to block everything out, and when he opened them, he was standing right outside the great hall. Harry, Ron, and Granger were there again but slightly older. They were walking away from him when a spell hit the side of Harry's cheek. Draco had just realized what was going to happen but didn't even get a chance to run.

"OH NO YOU DON'T LADDIE!"

Draco felt a weird, shrinking sensation and he looked up to see Moody towering over him with a wand pointed straight at him.

Moody walked over to Harry and Crabbe was just about to pick Draco up when Moody caught him.

"LEAVE IT!"

"Leave—what?" Harry said, bewildered.

"Not you — him!" Moody growled, jerking his thumb over his shoulder at Crabbe.

When Moody limped back over towards them, Crabbe, Goyle, and Malferret ran towards the dungeons. Moody, however, pointed his wand at Malferret again.

'_Why me?'_ thought Draco as he was flung ten feet into the air and fell again. Draco bounced up higher and higher while Moody started lecturing.

"I don't like people who attack when their opponent's back's turned. Stinking, cowardly, scummy thing to do…"

'_OW! I didn't even do it this time! OWCHY! I'm going to kill Granger for this. OWWW!'_

"Never—do—that—again—" said Moody, speaking each word as Malferret hit the stone floor and bounced upward again.

Malfoy was caught off guard when he found himself in his room the next second. Something was wrong though. His desk seemed as tall as a house. He then realized that he never changed back to being human again!

Someone knocked and then the door was opened by Mrs. Weasley. He saw this as his way to get help; he didn't want Mrs. Weasley to see him like this, so he ran out and downstairs.

"AHHH!" screamed Mrs. Weasley. "FRED, GEORGE IF YOU PUT THAT RODENT IN POOR DRACO'S ROOM I WILL NEVER LET YOU IN THIS HOUSE AGAIN!"

'_POOR Draco! What am I weak or something? Oh wait, I am because I'm stuck as a FERRET! Wait! Is that Blaise talking in there? He can save me! And that way no one will laugh at me!'_

Now Draco was small and freaking out, otherwise he would have realized that Blaise was talking. This meaning there's someone else in the room for him to talk to.

Draco ran around the couch and was about to run to Blaise when he suddenly froze. He had just seen Harry, Ron, Ginny, and… "Granger" he squeak/said before making a dash to the door. Once again he wasn't fast enough and Hermione had him floating through the air to the center of their group.

"What is that?" asked Blaise.

'_So much for the idea of HIM helping me…' thought Draco._

"I don't know…" said Harry, Ron, and Ginny.

A giggle suddenly caught their attention and they all turned to stare at Hermione.

"Don't you guys recognize it?" asked Hermione, surprised.

"No…" said Harry.

"It's a ferret…" Hermione said really slowly. "Freakishly albino looking… the amazing bouncing ferret?"

There was a moment of silence then Harry and Ron were doubled over laughing. Ginny was poking the ferret to see if it really was Malfoy (she had only heard stories about the whole thing). Blaise had a dazed expression and was saying something about rumors and lies. No one noticed a small clicking noise coming from the doorway.

'_How dare they just stand there and laugh! And Blaise is just standing there like an idiot! How dare that wench poke me! I'll show HER!'_

Ginny suddenly shrieked while rushing away from Malfoy and accidentally tumbling into Blaise.

'_Hehehe'_

"Are you ok?" Blaise asked Ginny since he was successfully knocked out of his trance.

"Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry! I'll try to get up…" said Ginny but she trailed off when Blaise grabbed her arms and brought her face to face with him.

"It's aright, now are you ok? Why were you scared a few seconds ago?" Blaise asked in a worried tone.

"It bit me!"

"Well then, I guess we know it's really Draco now," Blaise said while taking her hand in his to look at the bite. "We should head down to the kitchen to clean that up, who knows what Draco could be infected with." He smiled as she laughed.

They disentangled themselves and tried to tell the rest where they were going but Hermione was changing Malferret into different colors while randomly making his fur spiked, curly, frizzed out, and even crimped.

'_No! This is not happening! It's all a dream. Breathe in… Breathe out… If I bite (I can't pinch) myself I'll wake up! _chomp _OWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! They can't do this to me! When I'm changed back, I'm going to KILL that girl! No! Not a Mohawk!'_

Blaise chuckled, "I guess looks aren't everything."

'_Yes they are!'_

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A/N: O my gosh I'm SOOOO sry about the delay! I have excuses but I don't think anyone wants to hear them so ONTO THE RESPONSES! 

THANK YOU everyone for reviewing! Especially to wolfgrl1423 who helped me think of words and ideas for this chap! GO READ HER STORIES! lol

XxSpeckAxLynnAxX: Thanks for reviewing! How could I not review your stories? They're awesome!

soccerpixie3000: Thanks for getting me writing again! Sorry it took so long for the actual chap to come out. I'm glad you like it!

Supafly09: Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it!

Velezv: Thanks for the review!

Evilrabidplotbunnies: I'm glad you loved it! Hope you liked Hermione's plan!

Wolfgrl1423: omg thank you for reminding me last night about this chapter! And I didn't quite get it up on Saturday but at least it's up! Lol.

Hope you all like this chap! I actually didn't plan the BlaiseGinny stuff to start yet but it just sort of worked so I wrote it. Ttfn!

Reba


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